ACETONE

 

after afters, 

i had enough to kill us 

just you and i, no guy to call 

every line’s a little promise 

 

you were so elated 

explaining  Genesis and Lady Jay 

 

all birds become  mocking birds 

when the sun rises 

their chirping weighs heavy 

with the sinking feeling  

we’re supposed to be human  

  

we lay there 

in thin air

trying not to choke 

Mazzy Star on spotify 

 

fading into you  

let the clonazepam dissolve 

with all our thoughts 

dreams acetone wash 

 

I’ll wake up  with you 

when the birds are gone

cancel plans 

we never should’ve made 

​

I like sleeping at you house 

I like your air conditioning  in october

​

sometimes you make little bunny sounds in the darkness

 

when I said  

we’re like taxi driver 

except both girls 

and in the end

I make you a whore

you laughed, as it was funny 

then you smiled, as it was sweet 

 

there's a world where I took the shot 

22.5 millimeters closer to the heart  

and Jodie Foster sleeps at night 

the 22 caliber lacerates Reagan's aortic valve 

the shards disperse within his lungs 

leaking that ugly brown hue 

the actual blood color

blood actually makes that color

dying on the DC sidewalk 

he’ll aspirate our love letter:

dear everyone he hated

 

he’ll lay there choking 

on the blood we can't donate 

 

i watched the traffic lights

burst into orange fluorescent crosses, 

and you tied off  

you drove us through Hollywood

it’s different in Florida 

I drank so much that day

sharing needles didn’t matter

blood sisters, you said 

 

I wanted you to see me in a dress

I wore my black adidas dress on your adoption day 

 

on the way back from newark

we listened to Lil Peep  

so  happy to be your mom

I let you on chew my finger the entire ride,